A Crash Course In Emotional Intelligence w/ Douglas Tataryn Ph.D.
“Why do I keep doing that same thing over and over, even though I know it’s not good for me?”
It's difficult to break the news to most people, but it's because, as a culture, we've been taught to approach everything totally backwards.
The biggest mistake we make is: believing that controlling our thoughts will gives us control over our behavior. What people don't understand, is that it's actually our unconscious Emotional Drives that have all the control, not our thoughts.
To understand the problem, it's useful to think of our brain as actually having three "little brains" that work fairly independently of each other .
The Physical Brain, takes care of our basic survival needs.
The Emotional Brain, assesses the world around us.
The Intellectual brain, is in charge of planning for the future.
Each of these brains are actually in constant-conflict with eachother. You deal with this every day. Like when your"heart" (em. brain ) says one thing and your "head" (Int. Brain) says another.
And we all like to think it's our intellectual brain that has the power over changing our habits and behavior, but it's not. It's our emotional brain.
Our most powerful brain: The Emotional Brain.
The Emotional brain is the driving force behind all our thoughts and our actions. It is the bridge between our habits and our goals... our best intentions and our difficult realities.
When we can educate and train our emotional brain to work in alignment with our goals, then we can start building solutions that stick. But most of us stopped training our emotional brain at around the age of 4... and well... you can imagine that your inner 5-year old isn't the best at managing the intensity and chaos of life in the 21st century.
By using the information and techniques and services on this site, you’ll have the tools to train your emotional-brain so stop making the same mistakes again and again, and have actual long-lasting changes in your habits and lives.
Mental Health: One Brain, Many SolutionsDid you know Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Chronic Anger, Insomnia all have one thing in common? According to the Bio Emotive Framework they are all symptoms of an underlying problem with the emotional system; Educate and clear the emotional system of some of its "Accidental Conditioned History" and the mental health problems get better (and sometimes just completely go away). Can it be that simple? Well its a bit early to know for sure, but my experience as a clinical psychologist over the past 12 years, using this framework to help people suffering from these conditions, has been pretty positive. I say its "early" (and "apparently") because there have been no randomized clinical trials formally testing the framework against the standard psychological and medical interventions. Right now all we have is anecdotal evidence (my experience and that of my clients) and some recent developments in psychology which recognize the importance of emotions in therapy, to support my claims. The Framework also has "face validity", in that most people who watch the DVDs (or who learn it from me personally) say that it makes sense, it feels right, and wish it would have been taught to them years ago. I invite you to read through the website, watch some of the video clips from the DVD and some of the extra materials, and check out the ideas and how well they fit into your life. If it all makes sense to you - if it resonates - and you get a sense that you would like to pursue the ideas more deeply, buy the DVD and watch it, probably several times to absorb it all. If it seems too expensive to buy by yourself, perhaps buy it with one or more of your friends or family members and watch it together. Learning and implementing the framework is actually easier to do with someone and it helps a lot to have others also learning and speaking the same (emotional) language. This will create a kind of mini-culture, one that supports you (and the others) in trying out this new way of processing and expressing your feelings, of helping you get over your culturally induced alexithymia. I'll be adding to the website as I get a chance, so check back from time to time. I plan to add some basic exercises that will help you understand the cultural alexithymia we all live with, as well as some tables such as the nine core feeling dimensions, etc. As other psychologists, mental health workers, teachers, personal growth facilitators, etc have a chance to review and comment on the DVD's I'll post their opinions as well. One last comment: I would like to warn you that implementing these ideas can be psychologically disruptive, at least for a little while. Besides leading to new insights and change, it can challenge old beliefs and threaten your old ways of seeing your self and the world. For example, for some people crying can be very threatening and goes against everything they have been taught on how to deal with life. Keep in mind that emotions are a normal, natural, and essential part of being fully human. Sincerely, Douglas J Tataryn, Ph.D. (C.Psych)
Links to Bio-Emotive Material
The work I have been doing with your < framework > has been priceless. Opening to my emotions and core feelings that I’ve circled and neglected for (60+) years has caused me to navigate uncharted territories. I can now put names to my fears where I had confusion and was unconsciously stuck before. More and more on a daily basis I recognize the difference between survival emotions and interpersonal emotions and my deeper core feelings. If and when I do dip into depression, I’m allowing that to lead me through whatever is trying to surface so I can process consciously, transcending into dissipation and thus updating unresolved states.
Jun Po Denis Kelly Roshi Abbot, Hollow Bones Sangha http://www.mondozen.org
I have recently have had the good fortune of personally meeting Douglas and discovering his work. He has created a whole process leading to not only a more enlightened view, but an emotional transformation. If you would like more emotional freedom and happiness in you life to share with the world you interact with, I honestly highly recommend you investigate his work.
I got your videos on dvd. I watched them and I have to watch them over and over again. What it has taught me so far has practically changed my life in 3 days.
Kyle F. National level athlete
An amazing DVD set by someone I worked closely with for 2 years. The Framework made huge changes in my overall well being, my ability to stay calm in stressful situations, to improve my relationships by communicating better, my ability to learn and retain information, and gave me a construct to continually improve, and improved my ability to continually reach the ‘zone’ in athletic competition. If any of these things feels like a weakness, something you want to improve on, are interested in, or resonates with you then I strongly suggest you check this out.